Harry the Muslim Terrorist
by Tridentwatch
Summary: What if Harry got raised by Osama Bin Laden and his mission was to destroy Hogwarts using explosives made from butterbeer and chocolate frogs? RR! No offence, its just a joke.


AN: IF I GET MORE THAN 10 REVIEWS, I WILL CONTINUE THIS!! IF NOT: ABANDONED.

Harry Potter: The Muslim Terrorist

Ch 1: Enter Musa

Musa was a terrorist. Not a bright terrorist by any means. He worked as a janitor at a local business building.

In his spare time he liked to walk.

One day he was walking along Privet Drive when he heard a wail in the night air. He went to investigate and saw that a baby had been left on a porch.

"These bastard Westerners! How dare they do this horrible thing!" thought Musa and he took the baby home with him.

He fed the baby. He took care of the baby and he read the Quaran to him every night.

Soon young Mustafa -- that was his name now -- was five years old.

Musa decided to go back to Afghanistan where he come from.

So they got on a plane -- the little white boy and the muslim guy -- and they looked mighty suspicious. But after the recent bill passed against discrimination, the officers couldn't do much.

When they landed in Afghanistan Musa took him to a friend he knew named Osama Bin Laden and told him how he found the baby.

"Yeah those Westerners are barbarians and really cruel. That's why our jihad is bound to succeed. Allahuakbar!" cried the terrorist.

"Subhan Allah!" repeated Musa.

"Allaaaaaaaaah!" cried young Mustafa joyfully. He was a very healthy five year old and learned fast.

Soon Musa found out that Mustafa could do miracles. "This must be allah's will," he thought. He just saw Mustafa levitating a pencil. So Musa told Osama and Osama nodded, not really surprised. "These are Allah's chosen ones, sorcerers."

"But I thought they were evil?"

"Only those who don't pass the test are evil. We must give Mustafa the test!"

"What's the test?"

They went to a mosque.

"Okay Mustafa, here's what you do," said Osama, "Go to the altar and start reading the Quran."

Mustafa went and did so. As he read the Quran in a whisper, Musa asked Osama, "What's supposed to happen?"

"If he's Allah's chosen one, then he will start glowing with white light. If not, then I guess he's evil and we kill him."

"Oh," said Musa.

Suddenly there was a humming sound and Mustafa started glowing...

...with golden light!

"What's happening?" asked Musa, who was oblivious.

Osama had a disbelieving expression on his face. "It appears this young boy is Allah's favorite. The messahiah! He must be the reincarnation of the Prophet."

"Oh my god what do we do?"

"I don't know," shouted Osama. "I guess we take him to the Muslim Academy of Sorcery to train him!"

"Fabulous!" said Musa. "So he's going to be a real powerful man one day and he'll help us with the jihad?"

"Of course," said Osama. "But we must teach him the right ways early on."

--

Mustafa was eleven years old.

He was a master -- skilled in all forms of muslim magic -- and he was ready to graduate Muslim Acadamy.

"Oh my god we've never had such a skilled prodigy before," said the instructors. "You are really powerful."

"Damn straight," Mustafa said. "Allah's hand is upon my hand."

Then he graduated and got a certificate.

When he went back home to his adopted father Musa, he was really happy. Everybody in the village was proud of him.

Osama said, "You'll make a great man one day."

"Thanks."

Then an owl came from the sky and dropped a letter in his lap. He read it and handed it to Osama. "What should I do?"

Osama thought for a really long time and then he said, "Okay here's your first mission. It's obvious this Hogwarts school is run by infidels so find a way to destroy it."

"Alright so I'll send a reply?"

"Yeah, Musa will take you to London."

"Wow my first mission. I'm so excited."

"Just remember, you need to blow up this Hogwarts and then come back, alright?"

"Yeah sure."

Mustafa wrote back -- I'll be glad to come to Hogwarts. Yours, Harry Potter --

He wasn't sure who this Harry was but he decided if that's what they want to call him, whatever. He was an open minded terrorist.

"OMG UR REALLY NAMED HARRY POTTER? I NEVER KNEW!" said Musa.

"Its okay I dont mind."

"I THOUGHT I THOUGHT UR NAME WAS MUSTAFA?"

--

Musa took him to London and told him where to go and gave him lots of money he earned as a janitor. His life savings actually.

Harry went to Diagon Alley and had somebody open the door for him.

He shopped for lots of stuff and came back. "OMG I GOT THIS CRAZY COOL STUFF!" cried Harry.

"OMG NO WAY LOOK I BOUGHT THIS COOL LEATHER JACKET!" cried Musa.

"NO RLY?"

"YA RLY?"

"U SURE?"

"IM SURE."

"SURE U SURE?"

"SUR IM SUR!"

"KEWL!"

"I KNOW!"

TBC...


End file.
